Alabama everyone knows us best for being the most difficult about desegregation
Alaska the biggest state and the most ignored-essentially Canada
Arizona hot hot hot dry as hell ha ha ha this is hell
Arkansas Little Rock Nine- also, we are not an extension of Kansas, like at all
California LA, San Francisco, the most chill hippy liberals you'll ever meet mixed in with warring druglords, the richest people in the nation, homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk, and a flamboyant gay night scene
Colorado we legalized weed and now ppl won't shut up about it
Connecticut the c is silent asshole
Delaware Delawhere?
Florida old people, alligators, and an interesting blend of liberals and conservatives shooting swamp monsters
Georgia somehow we're more racist than Alabama
Hawaii lol school, what school
Idaho fuck off and don't make fun of my name- also, potatoes
Illinois stop illinoying me, haha- there's nothing here
Indiana HOOSIER COLLEGE BASKETBALL, home of the angry religious road signs
Iowa you fly over us sometimes when you're visiting California
Kansas Wizard of Oz and the Westboro Baptist Church
Kentucky yeah yeah go on, make your jokes about chicken but let's see you resist it bitch
Louisiana parlez-vous français,salope now enjoy our fucking crawfish
Maine lobsters and commercials about our famed lobster
Maryland the most liberal conservatives you will ever meet
Massachusetts boston tea party, boston massacre, we don't pronounce our r's and that's all anyone remembers
Michigan we hate Ohio and most of us work for Ford, General Motors Or Chrysler
Minnesota we're like Canadians but American
Mississippi it takes like five different songs to remember how to spell our name
Missouri our name sounds like misery because that's what it is to live here
Montana montana, mountain, geh it?
Nebraska half of our state is like Children of the Corn but with less activity
Nevada Las Vegas and nothing else, literally nothing
New Hampshire taxes are for communists
New Jersey we're shaped like a dollar sign, also new york city is totally ours don't believe what anyone says
New Mexico every one of us has seen a UFO and Spanglish is our official language
New York we have more than one city you know
North Carolina biscuists, sweet tea, south carolina is just a knockoff of us
North Dakota lawnmower races, lol jackets are for the weak, "how are things" "eh, not so bad."
Ohio shut up about Glee and we're not fucking iowa, cheap beer, and fuck CNN
Oklahoma We can and will deep-fry anything we want, just try and stop us
Oregon the Oregon trail game.
Pennsylvania ya want some pop? also, i just hit a deer with my car, wanna come over for dinner, we have deer meat
Rhode Island size don't matter, this is the best state, and you probably only know us cuz of family guy but whatever
South Carolina Praise Jesus! shrimp, grits, and conservatives, and Southern hospit- wait, what the fuck did you just say about North Carolina?
South Dakota we're below another Dakota
Tennessee nashville is fun to say and that dumb pickup line, oh my god, i get it, you're the only ten-i-see, fuck off and shove the bible right up your
Texas trip onto my lawn and I'll blow your head off and it's my god-given right as an american goddamnit burn a flag and i'll be shovin' it up your yuppie ass later
Utah Mormons and that little smudge on the map that's a lake
Vermont skiing and the NRA loves using us as a misrepresented statistic
Virginia the confederacy didn't win the war, but we sure as hell didn't lose it *burns textbook
Washington it rains. and sometimes twilight fans come to brood.
West Virginia we split off from Virginia and we thought we were cool but now no one notices us- NOTICE US VIRGINIA
Wisconsin cheese is a valid form of US currency shut up
Wyoming we're not all gay cowboys